The Transparent Revolution

Whenever the rumour mill starts churning out some fantastical ideas about what the next new (usually Apple) product is going to do (cf. unicorns), it's usually joined by a slew of "concept" designs for said products.

Transparent iPhone

Fun as this may all be, there's something that always annoys me about the whole thing; why are a good portion of these conceptual devices semi- or completely transparent? What is it about the types of people that create these concepts that make them think a transparent device would be product design Nirvana?

Credit: Dakota Adney

More recent trends have devices creating holograms in thin air or projecting images onto other surfaces. Of course who doesn't want a phone that can project cat pictures onto the wall at work for the entertainment of all of your colleagues? Erm... Me!


Credit: FinalCutKing & Yrving Torrealba

Lets be honest, in the future everything is going to be white, we'll all wear silver jumpsuits and all of our gadgets will be transparent; not only that, they'll enrich our lives by projecting stuff onto all the dull old plain surfaces we will be surrounded by. We might well all strain our eyes trying to find our non-opaque cellphone, but hey, at least I'll be able to see if my shoelace is untied when I'm texting whilst walking down the street. Assuming of course I'll be wearing shoes. But as we know from the movies we'll likely all be wearing futuristic spin-off versions of 'classic' trainers circa [year of film].

I really want my TV to talk to my phone, which in turn will let my freezer know that a particularly sad movie is about to come on and I'll be hitting it up for some Double Choc Chip Chunky Monkey with the marshmallows in to drown my inevitable sorrows as I watch. I need a bathtub that, upon seeing a rant in my Twitter feed, immediately pulls me a nice hot soothing bath for when I get home.

I'll be able to check the contents of my fridge whilst sitting on the sofa. Of course all this will be lost to me as I'm not 100% sure where my cellphone is right now and I don't have 10 minutes to grope around. Perhaps I should've bought the case that turns opaque when you whistle. But no matter, my see through fridge door will alert me to exactly what I have to eat. And it's always funny to see the dog run full pelt into it trying to get at the leftover roast beef.

I honestly don't see the appeal one bit.

You can take your white, silver jumpsuit, transparent electronics, electro dance, post-apocalyptic fucking utopia and stick it up your arse. It may not be the actual sun shining out of there but at least projecting things out of your anus is a good party piece! Albeit with a brown tinge.